In contrast to the children who seem to know everything about a new situation, are the children who do not understand what is so special about their baby brother or sister. This is especially true with younger children who are still very egocentric and view all people in the world as they view themselves. Hearing and watching others in the family make a "big deal" about the baby’s hearing loss may set these younger children wondering, "What’s wrong with my brother (sister)?" Again, explaining the situation to these children is important, and the explanations have to be at a level the children will understand.

Check out the resource list for grandparents and siblings. It provides a number of books that explain hearing loss and hearing aids for children who are young or do not grasp what is going on at a more mature level. You can also visit our recommended reading section for more information.

Aside from making the adjustment to having a sibling who is hearing impaired, brothers and sisters face a number of personal and family issues. On the personal level, siblings may feel "bothered" by frequent questions asked about their brother or sister who is deaf. Questions might include, "Why does he speak so funny?" or "What are those things she has to wear?" or "What’s wrong with him, is he deaf?" These words can hit hard and the siblings need to have appropriate ways to respond.

Understanding hearing loss, hearing aids, and related issues is important so that siblings understand why others may ask such. Parents may need to role-play or discuss such situations and offer suggestions the children can say when they are asked such questions. There is nothing wrong in telling someone the truth and educating that person about the child’s hearing loss and any special devices such as hearing aids.